Things that matter more, often unexpectedly: a consistently clean bathtub and bathroom floor, soft brown shoes, razor blades that really cut, spacious elevators, naps, flowers in vases on glass tables, having time for bills, sitting on opposite sides of the couch with the dishwasher noise in the background, driving a manual on a mountain road, coffee before sun, tax deductions for non-cash charitable gifts, pulling the ol' belt one notch tighter, discipline, a slow lunch, kno

"Take a Tylenol." "No." "Come on. You're driving me crazy. It will make you feel better." "I don't want to take a Tylenol. It means I'm weak." "I'm sorry?" "Weak. It means that I have weakness." "Idiot. It means that you have pain. And that you don't want the pain to continue." "I think it also means that I can't take that pain." "No, instead, you just want to lie there and complain to me." "Finally." "Finally what?" "You understand what's going on." "Oh I see." "Okay." "You

He said that the ancient Egyptians weren't humans; that they were another, secret race. And that a secret planet out there between the asteroid belt and Jupiter, Planet X, would return to near-Earth-orbit sometime in the next ten years. He said that Vladimir Putin and John Kerry had both visited Antarctica to learn from the technology of a secret alien race buried beneath the ice, and that every American president had been a Reptilian -- reptiles that shape-shift and adopt a

Doctors all stare at screens now as they ask about family history. Heart disease? Oh my, yes. Everyone. Click. Cancer. Just a great aunt. Everyone else no. Click. Depression? Well, it's complicated. I just need to know. No, then. I guess. Not really. Click. Do you smoke? Like maybe four cigarettes per month, you know. When I'm out at the bar or something. Okay well click I'm supposed to tell you not to smoke, so, don't smoke. I think my blood pressure is high. Is it high? Not

Hemingway instructed writers to write about fishing in highly specialized language. The more specialized and specific, the greater the credibility. He didn't advise writers to make up terminology or to fake expertise. Rather, he suggested that taking the time to really learn the lexicon of an obscure (but compelling) art could provide a shortcut to a writer winning deep credibility with a reader. So I wold talk about the virtues of sans serif versus serif fonts. I would talk

David's brother Henry, in a moment of contrition and big-heartedness (who said that these two had to be exclusive?) bought the country house, just east of the lake where they used to go to summer camp as dirty, sweaty, buggy kids. He had ground his bones into dust working over the last two decades as a consultant for primarily consumer packaged goods. He had absented himself from many of the extended family's major achievements and traumas: graduations, funerals outside of th

Knowledge shouldn't have to pass from one brain to another in such an inefficient manner. It should be -- and will be quite soon, if our engineers and future prognosticators are to be believed -- that the brilliance of one mind should not be locked in this bone vault. That, once an idea is conceived, it should live free in the minds of any who should decide to allow it entry. These words. I'm so tired of laboring over their meanings, their shapeliness, their physicality. Tire

Stuffed lions, giraffes, elephants and hard-plastic dolls with terrifying blue eyes; oil lamps; tarnished silverware; tea sets sealed in plastic; baseball cards in cookie tins; a chest full of National Geographic issues; three bean bags (one with a hole in it that spilled the stuffing everywhere); a tricycle that Molly stared at for three minutes solid as if in fear of the memories it might unlock, its Snoopy horn still attached; a copy of Wilson's Anatomy; seven boxes of Chr

Standing in front of an audience talking about what it takes to write a resume, to network, to build a personal brand, to get a job in publishing, or in nonprofits, or at consulting firms, or on the tenure track at academic institutions. "Anyone who tells you that there's one way to get a job is a liar," I would say. Disarm the audience. Comfort them with the knowledge that you're not selling them magic potions or oils. That you, too, got up in the morning and shoveled out yo

My office on the second floor of the Administrative Building, which was -- shortly after my arrival -- renamed in memory of a dead Provost overlooked the Main Quad. I watched advisees, sitting across from me as they sipped their tea, as they looked out the window. One can learn a lot about a person by the way that they observe others, the way they crane their neck. One can tell, for example, whether it seems that they feel like they are missing out, or that they just want to